HIGH HOLY DAY INFORMATION 5764 - 2003

If you have been a member during the past year, your High Holy Day admission cards have already been mailed to you. If you are not a member and wish to worship with us, please call so that High Holy Day cards may be sent to you.

The Rabbinic Center welcomes the unaffiliated. If you have friends or neighbors who do not belong to any synagogue, please let us know. We will be glad to send them a mailing. Admission cards for non-members are available at $95 per person. Children (age 12 and under) of relatives and friends who have not previously participated in Rabbinic Center Services are entitled to complimentary tickets. Adult children living in the family home and their significant others are included in the family membership. For further information call (908) 233-0419.

Holiday Inn, 304 Route 22 West, Springfield, New Jersey

SCHEDULE OF SERVICES

Rosh Hashanah Eve Fri., Sep. 26, 8:30 p.m.

Rosh Hashanah Morning Sat., Sep. 27, 10:30 a.m.

Yom Kippur Eve Sun., Oct. 3, 8:30 p.m.

Yom Kippur Morning and Memorial Service Mon., Oct. 4, 10:30 a.m.

From Parkway North: Exit 140A to 22 West 3.5 miles to one-tenth of a mile after overpass to entrance on right.

From Parkway South: Exit 140. Go into left lane and follow signs to 22 West. 22 West 3.5 miles to one-tenth of a mile after overpass to entrance on right.

From 22 West: Go past Western Termite Control to Springfield exit just after overpass. Make right on to Springfield Ave., go over the overpass and make immediate right (unmarked) to 22 West. Proceed one-tenth of a mile to entrance on right.

Jews in the United States behave as if intermarriage were a uniquely American phenomenon and that we have no tested guidelines in our history of four millennia to help us cope with its consequences. We may be loathe to acknowledge it but the Hebrew Bible is a textbook on intermarriage. Moses, revered as the greatest of the prophets, chose a Midianite woman for a mate. King Solomon, the reputed wise man of Jewish tradition, had a largely non-Jewish harem. King David, the greatest king of Israel, was descended from Ruth, the Moabite.

The lesson we should draw from the biblical record is that when the Israelites accepted intermarriage, as in the days of David and Solomon, their society prospered. When it read intermarried couples out of the Jewish community, it declined and atrophied. The Israelites who subdued the cities of Canaan had no difficulty marrying Canaanite women.

We Jews in America confront intermarriage once again. Are integration and survival compatible? We have become so much a part of American society that being a Jew is no longer an obstacle for election to the Senate or appointment to the Supreme Court. This is a degree of integration that we have earnestly sought but we seem to be at a loss to fight its inevitable consequences, assimilation and acculturation. We must remember that our forebears came to these shores to escape the antipathy and constrictions of a conflicted Europe where minorities, even today, find themselves the victims of ethnic cleansing.

Today, choice of mate has little to do with rebellion against Judaism or pique against parents. Jews marry non-Jews because we live in a society where we go to the same schools, work in the same places and live in the same neighborhoods. Intermarriage is the inevitable outcome of integration. Programs for intermarried couples have greatly expanded during the past decade but the struggle between the Jewish establishment and the wishes of the average Jew still goes on. When two out of three marriages involving Jews are now intermarriages, it is disgraceful that only a small fraction of these couples is served by a congregational rabbi who knows at least one partner.

It seems rather strange that the only couples who are now routinely denied rabbinic services are intermarrying couples. The reason that is usually given for the opposition of the Jewish establishment to rabbinic participation in intermarriage ceremonies is that intermarriage is not in accord with halachah. However, during the past two decades Reform Judaism has adopted the concept of patrilineal descent, which means that a child is to be regarded Jewish if either parent is Jewish. The Reform and Reconstructionist movements have sanctioned gay and lesbian commitment ceremonies. Conservative Judaism is now ordaining female rabbis. I heartily endorse gay and lesbian commitment ceremonies. I embrace patrilineal descent and I rejoice that so many female colleagues are ordained each year. But I cannot fathom the logic which says that you can modify halachah for gays and lesbians, for some children of intermarriage, and for females who choose to be rabbis but you dare not tamper with halachah in order to allow for rabbinic officiation at intermarriage ceremonies.

Personally and on behalf of the Board of Trustees I wish you and your family all the very best for the coming New Year. May it bring you and your loved ones the blessings of good health and a full measure of joy and happiness.

Rabbi Irwin H. Fishbein

Since the founding of the Rabbinic Center for Research and Counseling over three decades ago, there have been times when both the Board of Trustees and I have questioned the need for its continuation. By the mid-1980s it seemed that more and more rabbis were officiating at intermarriages and that couples were having much less difficulty finding a rabbi. Then, a strange thing happened. In 1985, after Dear Abby told her readers that no rabbis officiated at intermarriages, she subsequently printed a letter from Rabbi John Sherwood which stated that not only did rabbis officiate but there was even a list of such rabbis maintained by the Rabbinic Center. That one Dear Abby column generated over two thousand requests at a time when we were still sending out The List without charge and quickly squelched all thoughts of phasing out our work.

Contrary to expectations that, with the passing of the years, more and more rabbis would officiate at intermarriages, the percentage of rabbis officiating leveled off at fifty percent both in our 1982 and 1986 surveys and has since suffered a moderate reversal. Many more rabbis are, indeed, officiating but the percentage of Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis now hovers slightly below fifty. One can speculate that the conservative swing of our society during the last two decades reflects itself also in religion and that more traditional-leaning men and women are applying to, and being selected by, the rabbinical schools. It seems that while there is growing religious and cultural acceptance of intermarriage among lay people, there continues to be increasing collegial pressure on rabbis not to officiate, particularly for couples where Jewish commitment is not certain or where special conditions, e.g., officiating in churches, with Christian reference in the ceremony or on the Sabbath, may apply.

In 1970 the Rabbinic Center was in the forefront of the movement to provide programs and services for intermarried couples, to welcome them into the Jewish community, and to encourage rabbinic officiation at their ceremonies. An organization under Jewish auspices, we pioneered in offering counseling to interfaith couples that affirmed the religious traditions of each partner. We conducted and encouraged research on all facets of the interfaith relationship. In our Synagogue we have never allowed any barriers in matters of ritual and governance. And we have continued to looked upon the Rabbinic Center as a temporary support system in the belief that couples should become members of local community synagogues.

As our tasks continue, it is evident that we must become more active in advocating rabbinic officiation at intermarriages and in working toward the removal of exclusive barriers in the Jewish community in matters of ritual or governance. We shall also initiate training opportunities for rabbis, the lay leadership of the Jewish community and mental health professionals that model respect for the dignity of people of all faiths, embody cultural awareness and sensitivity, and embrace diversity as a way of enriching the quality of life.

To accomplish these goals the Rabbinic Center shall, for the first time since its establishment, embark upon a large fund-raising effort. During this High Holy Day Season, devoted as it is to reflection and contemplation, I hope you will give some thought to the impact the Rabbinic Center has had on your life and, when you receive our request for a contribution, you will give generously in appreciation of past services, to support its present endeavors and to ensure its future.

Personally and on behalf of the Board of Trustees I wish you and your family all the very best for the coming New Year. May it bring you and your loved ones the blessings of good health and a full measure of joy and happiness.

Rabbi Irwin H. Fishbein